Three Possible Reasons Why You Are Still Single
Have you been looking for love for over a decade now with little or no success? Does love just keep evading you every single time? Did your longest relationship last for just 28 hours?
Well then you have a problem and you just stumbled on the perfect solution to it. Find your category in this list, fix yourself and then come back and dedicate your pre wedding photos to us.
Yea I heard you say “Hali- what?” don’t worry, you don’t need to google this; halitosis is the Oyibo word for mouth odour. Mouth odour is probably the reason they don’t even pick your calls after they exchange numbers with you. Come on, do you really need me to explain to your grown ass how much of a massive turn off bad breadth is to people?
If you’re not sure whether or not you have it, ask a close friend or family member; someone who does not have anything to lose by giving you an upsetting truth (don’t ask your employees oh). And if you have no one to ask, take a bad-breadth-test. How? Cup your hand and blow air from your mouth into it, then take it up to your nose? Did you die a thousand times and only just came back to earth? Yes? The answer is simple then – someone needs to change toothpastes and start brushing twice daily. Plus- try to give your tongue a little more attention when you brush.
2. You have a reputation
By ‘reputation’ here I mean, a reputation for being quite the Lothario. Did you not hear? No one wants a community p*nis anymore, if you’re not going to be the Romeo that will fight dragons for them and only them then move along.
These days’ people would gladly pick a quiet committed relationship garnished with fidelity over the adventurous usually short term flings. No one’s going to date a certified player just for the fun of getting to know what a broken heart feels like. We’re Nigerians, our hearts start breaking from the minute we wake (when we see NEPA took the light while we slept) to whenever we decide we can’t take it no more and go to bed.
1. You’re broke
Living is so freaking expensive, no one wants to take on sponsoring another person’s existence when sponsoring theirs is already seeming to be an impossible task. Forget all the telenovella’s that show people ditching their rich suitors to go for the poor people they “truly” love, whatever that means.
This is right here, is real life, and in real life my friend, people need money to survive- a lot of it. No one’s going to pick your broke ass over someone else earning a sweet six figure salary, not even when you come with a cute face. Stop watching those silly narratives, go get a job, make some nice money and see if that babe will not start returning your calls and replying your boring (yes, boring) chats. And hey; this is not gender specific yo. Having a v*agina is not a license to be a parasite, these men have all wisened up. Get a job yo!