Human needs are endless, it’s the reason for these 2 things:
– A woman that chased after stability for years may begin seeking fun the moment she clinches a man that provides her with stability – she may even end up cheating if she doesn’t get it.
– A poor man that was faithful may turn an incurable philanderer the moment he gets some change.
Fact is, depending on our dreams, the point reach our “I’ve arrived” moment, our minds begin seeking the next viable challenge, and if we aren’t able to readily provide it a “healthy challenge,” we risk straying into misnomers. Mrs. Okoye who has, for instance, been happily married for 15 years may suddenly realize Barrister Okoye is faithful but he rarely takes her on eat outs, Engineer Kunle whose marriage to Abidemi – his childhood sweetheart – has spanned 18 years would, out of the blues, realize his wife is supposed to look like the model gracing the cover page of a Playboy magazine.
Human. Needs. Are. Endless.
OKAY. Have you ever asked yourself why, after dreaming of passing a mega exam for so long, you passed and it suddenly felt like you’d done nothing after a while? Yeah? Your mind moved on! Yes, passing the exam was no more a need, on to better things.
And this is exactly what happens in relationships – first, needs are met, then as a result of an absence of viable challenges, dissatisfaction sets in and the marriage begins bursting at the seams.
The keys to avoiding this?
– Personal development:
1. Think of it, how big are your dreams? People with small dreams can rarely keep FUNCTIONAL MARRIAGES. So, map out your dreams, now, make it bigger, good! The scarier the size, the better for you – you don’t want your mind wandering off and permanently residing in strange places now, do you?
2. Have the picture of a clear cut path towards your dreams. Be the guy/ the woman with a plan no matter what confronts you.
– Collective effort.
3. Be with a partner that shares your dreams and constantly pushes you towards your goals at each stage. Yeah, not having to be the only one focusing on yourself helps build companionship in your marriage.
4. Recognize that your partner may fall into a misnomer after every recorded success – allow him/her own his/her dreams and always be there to remind of the next goals on the bucket list.
Now, in all the suggestions above, few lessons can be drawn:
5. The other person ain’t the problem, you are solely responsible for your thoughts.
6. Build your world, not inside of your spouse, but within you and around him/her.
7. The “I’ve arrived” mentality is a killer to your rise and a threat to your marriage. Success is a journey, not a destination.
My point? Love is never enough, human needs are unending, but rather than leave the task to the fickle mind, why not create healthy needs for yourself?
An idle mind could indeed, be the devil’s lair.
Perfect is boring, to be human is beautiful.