Spain, Is That How You Used To Do?

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Spain, Is that how you use to do?


Somebody should come and hold me before I faint. I just saw something! Ha! I really need to take minding my business seriously after this one. Ok, maybe not after this one gan gan but at some point. 

Tatafo lovers, please come close. I am not sure this kind of gist is legal in Nigeria.


Guess what I read? Let me just tell you because there is absolutely no way you saw this coming.

Spain has appointed its first minister of Sex!


I am seriously not making this up! Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy appointed Edelmira Barreira (look at her fine name sef! :-)) as the country’s sex tsar to get Spaniards to produce more babies. The country is faced with a population crisis with fewer births than deaths recorded at an all-time high last year.

Say what?

What does this mean? Does this mean that ikworikwo will be the order of the day? What exactly are the minister’s duties? Encourage people to have sex? Forcefully join people on their matrimonial bed? Watch couples have sex to make sure that they are not pouring their mmiri amu on the sheets? Hian! See me see wahala!

I trust Nigerian men to clamor for this kind of office. If it is to be vocal about the #HusbandnotATM and to shake their heads for #WifeNotCook, they will sabi!

But nwanna, this thing gbalu m ghari!

Of course, the Spanish government has come out to highlight the minister’s duties as discouraging the culture of working late, avoiding late night junk-ing (eating junk) and going to bed after midnight. An independent research outfit in Spain has identified these to be the causes of their nationwide sex famine. Lol…look at the way it sounds sef…sex famine… Nigerians, come and see your mates o! If it to have 200 million citizens that can barely feed, you will sabi!

But on a serious note, if Spain is looking for children, I am available. I mean, they didn’t specify the age there, right? I am also sure that a lot of Nigerians will be excited to jump at this offer. A country where there is 24/7 power and the President is not a borrowed citizen of London?

Hian! When are we going?

I don’t even need too much…If I can just carry a Ghana must go filled with akpu and some soup ingredients, I am good to go. Plus, I trust our Nigerian men. If it is population that the Spaniards want, that one is akamu case. Edelmira should come to Nigeria and see a poor man who can barely feed populate the streets of Mushin. Na today? A gallon or two of Ponkriyon and Soboroton will solve their man power issues. Haaa…these Spainards are really Lastma o!

Either way, I foresee some Igbo boys turning this thing into business. I mean, if the Spaniards are shooting “blanks”, an Igbo man with the ego complex of the whole of Ijebu Ode will keep shooting until Emeka, Chinedu, Nkoli, Nkiru, Ugbuaku, Nwakego and Ifeanyi enter. I trust them!

Alternatively, we can ship all these Abuja f*ckboys to that place. Those ones will just go to Spain and look for one aunty to suck dry. Awon leeches!

The job title looks interesting enough but encouraging people to have sex when they clearly don’t want to have a specified number of children in their family is meddling. You know all this oyibo people now…They don’t like plenty children. One or two is okay. It is not like Nigeria where everything is a competition; children o, cars o, social status…

I wish Spain lots of luck and fertile sperm in their quest to double their population.

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