7 Ways to Break Up Like a Boss

Or an adult. The end of a relationship does not always have to mean the end of your dignity. A break up should not have you throw yourself into the mud and play and forget your self-worth in there. You can, and as a matter of fact, if you intend to date a lot of people you should make it a point to leave every relationship with your dignity intact, except of course you wouldn’t mind going viral on twitter or facebook with every break up you have.

Here are seven easy ways to break up like a boss:



  • Move on.

Seriously, move on with your life. Close that chapter of your life, except that it is closed and don’t keep going back to open it. Accept that the relationship is over and that your life does not have to end with it because your entire life is worth more than one relationship.

Stop looking back at it with regret and thinking of how you could have made it right, or how you shouldn’t have done this or that, just forget about the whole affair and move on. If you find this too hard to do then go on to the next item on this list.


  • Don’t stalk them

Yeap, this is the first step to moving on. Don’t keep going uninvited and unannounced to their house, don’t drive around aimlessly around their street waiting for them to pop out so you can harangue them, don’t chase them on Twitter, into Facebook and into Instagram. Don’t bombard their DM with messages, don’t open up new social media accounts so you can anonymously stalk them. Don’t look for ways to make contact with them, just move on.


  • Don’t blow up their phones with calls

Don’t call them. If you still go on to call them don’t keep calling them even when they refuse to pick. Missed calls are not an apology they refuse to pick don’t keep calling them. Don’t make MTN start wondering if perhaps this person stole one of your kidneys.


  • Don’t call them out on facebook

Don’t go about throwing shade and making sub-posts directed at them. That’s petty and tacky. And worse still, it will most likely blow up into social media fiasco that will probably end with your face plastered on blogs like Yabaleft beside degenerate titles like “Girl says boy gave her herpes and refused to pick her call”


  • Don’t peddle lies about them

Don’t go gossiping about them and transmitting lies about them so you can look good. Don’t tell people they have STD’s when you know it’s a lie or that they’re broke when you know just how comfy their bank accounts are. It won’t change anything, it will only delay your own healing process.


  • Don’t ask for your gifts back

Hold on, I admit this will be hard. Especially if you spent a lot of money on them, and even more so if they are going around acting like they got it with their own money. But you can make it into a strategy for yourself. Consider the amount penance, for letting your guard down and letting yourself get played. But, if it was a loan, by all means, go get your money back. With interest.


  • Don’t beg

Don’t do it, because they will not take you back. Begging will just keep making your self-worth drop. If the person has made it clear they want nothing to do with you, let them be. Even if the relationship was the best ever, it doesn’t mean your life should come to a halt because the relationship ended.

Now that is how you end a relationship like a boss. No drama ensues, you just toast to it and move on like an adult.

Related posts