To bring back #BaeWatch, we track down quintessential Adaugo (not that she was that hard to find, “track down” just sounds like the super sleuthy thing to say, you know).
Adaugo is the queen of smart ripostes and sharp one liners. You read her social media updates sometimes and you just want to sit down with a screw driver, open up that head and try to get an idea of how that mind works.
Oh, and did we tell you all she is a…
Let us let her tell you all about her.
Seat belts on? Then hold on tight and let’s go!
1. Who are you?
How I want take start now?
Okay. I will tell you all I know.
Adaugo. (The second ‘a’ is silent)
I’m a media professional. I produce media content, mostly for TV and FILM. In a former existence, I also presented, wrote and directed for TV. And radio. These days, I consult and train for radio and TV when the schedule allows.
I’m also graduate of food science and technology. (GASP!) Yup. I actually spent 5 years studying that and all that time I had dreams/plans of how my Meat Shop was going to operate and change the way Nigerians see meat FOREVER.
Well, also in that time, surprisingly, I stumbled upon the media (in my first year) and I had dreams of how I was going to change film making in Nigeria FOREVER! Mind you, I was dreaming these things side-by-side fa.
I guess you can tell the first thing about me is that I’m a dreamer. (The beautiful thing is my dreams come true so watchout!!)
I’m also a creator. I love to create things. I love to give life to things…from radio programmes to little handmade birthday cards to clothes!
You see, at some point in my life, I learnt to make clothes (I’ve been designing them since I could use pencils and crayons) in fact, I know someone who thinks it’s my fault she’s not attending all the fashion shows in the world. (She reckons she’s supposed to be going on Adaugo’s bill. Sigh)
I love taking pictures. Especially pictures of my feet. (Hashtag Feetfie!)
Oh yeah, and I draw. Okay, I doodle (the kind of doodles that will sell for millions on eBay when I’m gone so…*snaps finger*) I pretend to write too. When I’m not reading and dreaming or watching movies or award show re-runs or watching a football match on Football TV or studying one of the weird courses on coursera.
Now that we’re here, let me say I’m an information hog. Someone once said I have so much information that I sometimes don’t know what to do with it. It was his way of telling me I was an ITK. I forgive him by the way so let’s add “Recovering ITK” to the list of things I am, shall we?
I love food. I’m on a “see food” diet. I see food, I like food, I eat food. But I’m also a fitness junkie so I watch the carbs.
Back in secondary school and University, I spent all my pocket money on books and CDs. Now I spend my money on shoes (read: “mostly sneakers”), iTunes and Books. No I don’t like ebooks.
I currently live and work in the lagos corner of Nigeria.
Yes. Yes. Adaugo is a Lagos geh to the bone any day. 34 years and counting, our love is strong. Not even my love for serenity (which made me move away for 6 years by the way) can put a dent in it.
2. What drives you?
Oh the idea that a person could die without having achieved ANYTHING is hella scary! Every morning when I wake up, the things that keep pinching my butt and pinching my eyes open when I just want to sleep (because I slept at 3.54am hellurrr!) are Passion and Comfort. Also, I love a challenge. If it’s not making adrenaline pump in my body, I’m definitely going to oversleep.
3. Nigeria today, what do you see?
I see thunder and lightning. I see fire and brimstone. Anger, angst, politics and polemics all rolled into one ginormous lethal bong and we’re passing the kush by the left hand side and getting higher than the Empire State Building.
4. Nigeria tomorrow, what would you like to see?
A proper federal government where all regions are self sustaining, self governing. I want a Nigeria that is not dependent on “oyel money”. I want a nigeria with Donald Duke as president! (Shameless plug, I know. Don’t care!)
5. You and Nigeria, how do you fit in?
At some point, I felt I may run for office but then I realized I prefer coffee and lazy days and brainstorming new ideas and long ass days filming, so I pass.
These days, I feel I’m gearing more towards the re-orientation of the population, some other days, I want to be a huge part of job creation via vocational education, mostly, I would like to do both. This is why I’m trying to make shitloads of money.
6. The youth and Nigeria, what would you say to them?
“Dear bickering children of strife and covfefe…” (you may make
Covfefe anything you want. Thanks Orange “Twittermon” Littlehands!) “…EMANCIPATE YOURSELVES FROM MENTAL SLAVERY! Stop bickering and fighting the fight of your fathers. We have a nation to build. Our parents had one job and they failed woefully. We have the benefit of hindsight and the whole damn internet. We aren’t kids anymore. We must rise up to our responsibility.”
That’s what I’d say to the yoot. #NoteToSelf
7. Turn ons/offs…
They are legion so imma stop at some point when I feel your boredom.
Lies. I hate lies. Don’t lie to me. I.Will.Know. Eez nor a winsh matter.
I hate rude people. Don’t be rude around me or I’ll make it my life’s mission to teach you the rudiments of common courtesy. It’s usually unpretty.
Arrogance is okay if you have something to be arrogant about like if you’re Zuckerberg for instance…so please shush it about the thing you think you have. It’s not important.
I hate being taken for granted. Don’t misinterpret my laziness. I walk fast. I will walk faaaaaaar away from you. No time.
I don’t people who are perpetually late. Time is important. If you’re going to be late, at least call. And don’t make it a habit.
I can’t stand people who don’t say sorry, please or thank you. I don’t trust them either.
People who chew loudly too…with their mouths open, HOW DO YOU SLEEP??
abbl. (And so on and so onth)
Loyalty is important to me. Loyalty is important to me. Yes I wrote it twice.
Sense and sensibility. I just had a mindgasm thinking about it.
People who say my name AND SAY IT CORRECTLY! Jizzzz. It’s “Ad’ugo by the way. The ‘a’ is silent. Oh I said it before? Ngwa sorry na. Thank you. Mention it.
People who read. People who love music.
People who hate trap music. Even calling that trash ‘music’ made me throw up in my mouth. *gag*
Alright, Imma stop right here.
8. What is that one thing you can’t do without?
My mind. It’s where I live. I’m nothing without it.
9. #WifeNotCook, Yay or Nay?
#BoyfriendNotATM #GirlNotReceptacle #BreastNotChingum
It is as useless as the ones I posted above.
To each mallam his own kettle.
10. Favourite vacation spot?
Okay I kid I kid.
I love to travel so everywhere is a great spot as long as it’s a new one and I’m not there for more than 72 hours, I’m good.
11. If you had five minutes with your teenaged self, what would you say to him/her?
You go girl!!! *high fives her*
12. Your lamest joke ever – we want to laugh (not!).
I don’t even have a joke not to talk of a lame one. Wait, I’m coming. Lemme go and think on it. I’ll be back!
(Ma! I made a joke!)
So, is Adaugo Bae or Nay? Watch out for that silent second “a” you all, and follow her on
@Aee_FX on twitter
Adaugo Falcon Uzoma on LinkedIn
@The_Falcon and @Falcon_About on the gram
Facebook.com/AdaugoFU on Facebook