Canice and Atheists

You know say for here na one week one wahala paroles we dey so? Ehem, so this week na Atheist and Non-Atheist (not necessarily Christians o) fight dey happen. Ask me wetin dem dey argue about? JUJU EXISTENCE and why Atheists call Jesus when they are in danger (oke efe if you h-ask me o)

 

We go start with Oga Canice Dim, that one weh be non feminist but broke Facebook internet when he declared he is a closet feminist?(una remember am naa abi?)

Canice have been offloading them like kilode, I dey try trace who be the atheist weh find im trouble fes weh make am ‘Kete fa’ this week. Just carry seat, popcorn and fanta (without vitamin c of course siddon, akuko ka nku o)

 

He first posted on Tuesday “Dear Naija Non-Atheists.

.

If you want to beat a Naija atheist hands down,

Stop trying to prove to him or her that there is God.

It’s useless.

RATHER,

Prove to them that there is juju.

Most,  if not all of these atheists dey fear their village people like kilode because of juju.

Tell them that this man next to their compound dey do jazz and they will start behaving themselves towards the said man.

.

ATHEISM IS LACK OF BELIEF IN THE EXISTENCE OF JUJU.

This is the African definition.

.

The argument Should change from now on.

.

Take that atheist to a village juju priest and tell the juju priest that he or she said that his juju is useless and lifeless.

Infact,

Let Mr and Mrs atheist use their mouth and repeat it before the juju priest and even demand that if he was lying,  let the juju priest attack him or her with his juju.

.

Their experience that day will determine if they will remain on facebook

or

if they will de-activate and peacefully treat their Elephantiasis. ?

.

Let the game begin.” (Chayeee! This one na bazooka fired o?)

 

Comean see fight naa, Naija Atheists wan tear the guy to pieces, they were running helter skelter trying to defend their honor while Naija Christians aka their haters were jumping upandan on the post like Mkpuru ifedi ?

 

For the Atheist haters group, Victor Orlunda commented “i concur?”

Onyemelukwe Uchechukwu commented “Peppering Etheists since 19kpiri gidim 😀 😀 Canice Dim”

Nicholas Iwegbere commented “I am quite interested in how this will turn out ???

 

Where are the Atheists?”

Austino Yeshua Madu said “that is true, even governor rochas okorocha once said people should be swearing with juju now, not bible and koran.” And Canice replied him “Very apt

He knows what juju can do.” Austino concurred ”

People don’t fear God cos his judgement are slow, they fear the devil cos he delivers his judgement sharp sharp”

Ogbeni La commented “Succinct” and Canice replied him “Ogbeni,  you look like a juju priest fa. I shall be bringing customers to you oO ?”

Augustine Ezeonu hailed him “Lol. Canice you’re really a genius as they said.”

Emmanuel Odionye said “Lolx….. I actually stopped trying to prove there is by letting them prove there isn’t​…. Now this ya style na epic…..lolx”

Chris Onyeka told Canice “Canice u nailed it. All this world pple claiming atheist. I haff tire for them. But with this ur suggestion, we will rest for them.

I suggest okija shrine. I foot the transport bill to and fro for any atheist that will come out.” Olusegun Ogundipe replied him “How are you so sure the intransigent atheist will return back with you. One way transport money is enough” (savage?)

Canice told Olusegun “Hahahahaha Olusegun Ogundipe, Once the atheist sight the juju priest sef

Na BLOOD OF JESUS go comot for him mouth.  Lwkmd”

Chukwuma Promsie Nnadi asked a very valid queshure “What happened when Nigerian police raided the shrine ?. The Okija deity got drunk and slept then ???… Do you reason at all ?….you guys watch too much nollywood movies. Smh.”

Franklin Uchechukwu Anaegbuachara laughed “Okija shrine that some drunk mobile policemen shattered to pieces ????????” and Canice replied them “The police men didn’t go there empty handed o

They went with juju.

Una no go know that one na

Only for insiders.”

Chukwuma resorted “Buhahahahahhaa..  This is the problem with y’all.. Just making shit up,….  What did the white man that enslaved your ancestors came with, ? With hands full of juju abi ?. Gerrarahia with that bullshit man, this is 2017.. Nollywood has mess people’s head up since childhood.

 

Only insiders my ass,…. Police raised a shrine, a so called shrine to take whatever they want and arrest people, and you tell me they carry juju,. Total BS. And the okija deity didn’t fight back, ? Policemen went with juju,..smh,. Mental slavery is deadly. Superstition will be the death of the black man,. He will never evolve, NEVER!.” Canice asked him “And you think the white man does not have his own superstition?

Inferiority complex”

Chukwuma fired back “Mr. Man why did the white man enslave your ancestors with all their “powerful” juju…. Oops, I forgot the white man came with his own juju,..yessssss yess you are right,. No wonder they invented aeroplace and build.space ships, no wonder…. Their juju strong o. Canice, na your type dem fit use illusions defraud o.. There are incredible magic, that is simply done with intelligent tricks,.. But to you anything you can’t or don’t understand is juju.

 

This is why the African man is backward,. Because he is never curious, he never want to discover, once he doesn’t understand it he terms it juju,.. Instead of going in to find out,. He calls it juju and relax back. Smh.”

 

Franklin equally told Canice “Hahaha, Canice Dim stop selling those lies please. Even if they have,it still doesn’t change it from what it is. Superstition, simple.”

 

Jentl Crush said “This is indeed the final solution to atheism in Nigeria…Lolx…Nice one Canice Dim…”

Ebele Mogbo commented “Our religion. Is more valid for us than christianity.”

Natz A A. Suleiman commented “See, is it juju or what,

If u don’t bliv in d African science, den am sure u havnt experience it.

 

Athie waiting sef, go to #Idah LGA of Kogi state, u will tell me if u will change ur faith or not.”

Perpetual Omeh Chinonso commented “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha #DIM am from enugu_ezike any married atheist who said juju no dey work should try chating me up hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha” (una be legend for eastern juju matters shaa?)

Chinwedu Carlos attacked her “CHAT ME UP. JUJU beleif makes you an ignoramus. Let me humiliate you a bit. Start with your juju now.”

Kaycee Jossy Alamata told Carlos “I laugh at your ignorance.. Disregard Black magic to your peril” Perpetua laughed “hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha” (hian! This one look like mamiwater laugh o?)

Chinwendu resorted “Please, I have debunked 86 stupid claims already. Bring your own idiocy. Who did this to us ooo! START WITH YOUR JUJU. Use it to steal my data. Use it to steal my call credit etc. Mbanu. Use it to fuel your car, mbaanu! Ndi nzuzu.” (Lolzzz, Oga haf vex?)

Onuorah Ifeoma Oluoma commented “Atheists and their fear for juju nah something else. Lol” Chukwuma Promise Nnadi replied her “Not all of them.  Quit generalising.” Canice told him “Chukwuma Promisé Nnadi All of them.

All of una.”

Chukwuma resorted “Canice Dim Lmao, Atheism in Nigerian just dey pepper all of una for body,. Say we started asking question and decided to quit the bullcrap and emancipate ourselves from the mental slavery,. Na wetin they bother all of una, brace up it is here to stay, many people will abadon all those religious lies and bullshit in years to come, watch out.” and Canice challenged him “Chukwuma, Are u ready to take up the challenge?

Fear go gree u?” And Chukwuma resorted “Canice Dim which challenge ?. Bring it on.. Fix a date, lets get off facebook and do this. Bring the challenge. Lets not just be ‘blabling’ on facebook…Canice Dim may be take me to a juju priest na, so I will take up the challenge as you suggested.  Smh.”

He further said “I suggest you guys leave atheist the f alone.  All these talk is nonsense, it won’t change the fact that people are giving up on lies that was fed to them from when they were kids,

 

Leave people alone,. The other day a clown attacked atheists too, saying they form atheist on fb but then go to church,…. Stupid statement,… Because some people still decide to be in the closet due to fear of persecution from family, and for the fact that they may not be completely independent from their fam. …. They get bullied by all you religious nitwits… I pity the people that chickens out and hide from all of you though, if an atheist now table a debate to question your religion you guys will get furious and say they are disrespecting your god and are shoving their atheism down your throat.” (Well, you have  point here shaa)

 

Uzoamaka Keke Ezeonwurie, Chairlady Atheist group of Facebook commented “Elephantiasis is caused by juju. What a wawu.

No wonder we have people coming very late to the hospital for very treatable conditions. ??????”

Buchi Stein Emezue replied her “The way you guys twist posts to suit your ridicule amuses me. So saying the juju will give them elephantiasis means to you that elephantiasis is caused by juju?”

Darey Samuel asked her “Uzo, how did you pass Waec comprehension? A simple post of this nature you cannot understand.”

Canice told her “Uzoamaka,  Elephantiasis as used in that post is symbolic dear.

Don’t jubilate.

When are u ready to visit a juju priest?

I will make a post and get someone to take you to the nearest juju shrine to you.

 

I am dead serious about this. Respond please”

 

Uzoamaka told them “That’s good.

I thought you are usually symbolic on your wall until you guys came for my head over my statement that those who were having weird dreams needed antimalarials.

So I decided to swallow your words, hook, line and sinker.

Darey Samuel

Come and teach me WAEC comprehension. Uchu.

Adults believing incredulous stories.

The other day it was spirit husband and wife, today it’s juju, maybe tomorrow it would be Willie Willie?????”

Canice resorted “Uzoamaka,  where do u reside?

I shall sponsor ur visit to a juju shrine near to you. Na even a lady from this facebook I go bring to take you there.

When will u be ready.

Atheism no be for mouth. It’s time to walk the talk”

Uzoamaka fired back “Take me to the nearest juju shrine for what?

For me to show on crime fighters as a victim under the headline’ritualist beheads young woman as he believed her head would provide some dollars, cure HIV or even more stupid, cure elephantiasis.’ People who believe inanities are downright dangerous and I keep away from them.

Ask the Albinos of Uganda and other African countries. People who believe in witches have been mobbing our geriatric population. You guys need to use your brains.”

Canice told her “I’m an officer,  I shall provide you with security.

I am serious. Stop speaking English. when will you be ready. OK,  I shall go with you. When will u be ready?”

Uzoamaka resorted “Let the education pass through you.

There is no juju that cannot be explained.

That leg swelling is caused by several logical things of which juju is none of them.

??????

Juju my ass. An officer that believes in Juju ????

Oh boy!

Hope the Judge doesn’t as well”

Darey Samuel chipped in “Just follow him to the shrine and stop this exchange of too many unnecessary words. Atheist believe in proofs. If you think juju is not real, let’s go to the shrine to test it on you. I know by then, all this your grammar will dissolve. ???”

Buchi Stein cajoled her “Now you’re just being silly. Canice if she isn’t ready to go test our rubbish belief out then allow her. She is just here for mockery”

Uzoamaka laughed and said “Ooh I’m scared.

Willie willie Oooooohhhhhhh!

Somebody save me.

Oh my!

E be like the juju dey do remote control sef. I can’t see from one eye.

What do you know? I don’t actually need to go there for it to work.

Somebody help!

My eye???”

Canice resorted “You re just an actor on facebook Uzoamaka.

You don’t mean many things you say here.

Someone just inboxed me now telling me of how Churcheous you are in real life.

Chai! You re a prayerful woman claiming atheist on facebook. I can imagine how hard you prayed while giving birth to your cute baby.

Stop to dey deceive others.

No be only you go go heaven na

Drag your friends along Biko Nne”(hian, why mention the baby naa? Mtschew )

Uzoamaka mocked him ”

I am a believer now.

I believe in juju.

Can you release my left eye? Oh wait, it’s the right ?No be only inbox. Outbox nkọ?

Ndị juju?????”

Danny Mario-Alpha told Uzo “Uzo Stop forcing it, It looks so fake. Accept  your L with your chest.”

Udeh Emmanuel Ekene said “Uzoamaka,  your statement here shows you are more afraid… Why not take the challenge first..”

Uzoamaka resorted “I’m not accepting any challenge. There is no juju,and anybody who believes that is frankly dangerous and I wouldn’t be caught near them.?

If e pepper you…..

You know what to do.”

Darey concluded “Uzo believes in juju, else she wouldn’t be repelling this staunchly. Or why should anyone be afraid to proof their point beyond just baseless grammar and unfounded propositions.

 

Atheists that I know are always eager to disprove. This one is just a talkaholic.”

Ijabla Raymond came to her rescue, she said “There’s a lot of confusion on this thread.

 

Magic is nothing but tricks, and magicians are tricksters.

 

Atheists are people who maintain that the evidence for the existence of gods is lacking. Therefore, they withhold belief.

 

The transition from theism to atheism doesn’t happen in a day. And if you are born into a culture where witchcraft superstition is pervasive chances are it might take you a little while to overcome the belief in witches.

 

Like gods, the evidence for spirits, juju, witches, wizards, mammy water, queen of the coast, and whatever else fanciful names exists for these entities, is lacking.

 

All the flexing about juju is silly and childish. Where were their powers when the Arabs and Europeans invaded our lands, enslaved us and shipped our brothers/sisters to foreign lands?

 

If juju exists, it’s impotent!”

Bunmi Tella agreed “Ijabla Raymond actually hit the nail on the head and the shit is hysterical. Let us go to see a juju man then. I will choose one for u and u can choose one for me. I will go with a physicist and an illusionist and u can go with ur bible and the blood of jesus. Oya! Im ready!”

 

Chinwendu Carlos ranted “Apparantly someone mentioned me here. We should read science books. Maybe Isaac Asimov’s ‘THE UNIVERSE: FROM FLAT EARTH TO QUASERS’ will be a good start. It is shameful that people with near zero knowledge of the universe try to dismiss scientific realities so as to keep clutching to stupid superstitions invented when humans were barely 3% higher than the monkeys of today. Why are people bent on adoring their ignorance instead of unravelling them? Ans: because we are still evolving. Our brains are still struggling to step away from the comfort zone of bulshits. God is not just a crazy idea, it is a big blemish on humanity. God is about religion and was adopted when we knew almost nothing than wandering in the jungles. God had a definition which is about religion. ‘Supreme being’ is more crazier. Why put a being at the back of the universe? And juju? That belief is a disgrace to anybody using the internet right now. Please go and get money from an ATM or top your data with it. Shameless negroes.”(erm, but you shaa be negro kwa?)

 

Kaycee Jossy Alamata replied him “Much rants about nothing! Let me foot your bills to my village, and u will forever live to attest to the powers in the supernatural..”

Chinwendu resorted “Nonsense foolish negro. Where is your ignoramus village? Please, pay my Ticket to it. Do I inbox my account number?”

Uzoamaka chipped in “Honestly the thing shock me. Juju that cannot withdraw money from ATM is that one juju? ????”

 

Ya village winches commented “This Chinwendu Carlos is my namesake but just wrote like a fool.

Are you not an Igbo man? OK. Let’s leave Igbo aside, because most of the traditional wizards in our tribe have all dumped their gods.

Go to Kogi state, or even Edo.

Start from there to look for trouble.

If you really need proof, you don’t need someone to pay your ticket fee. Abi, aren’t you hungry for knowledge again?

Simply do what Oga Canice Dim has asked. Let’s see how long you’ll survive.”

Chinwendu resorted “I grew up in Sapele and Benin and can tell you its all mind dumbing bullshit. I was taken to Benin to be jassed against machete cuts, but my elder sister mistakenly knifed me next day and boy, coman see blood. Its all stupid superstition. When are you going to browse with juju? Wake up you idiots” Ya Village winches fired back “Chinwendu, it’s you that’s an idiot. A stupid one at that. Is it juju that created the Internet? It’s like asking me to use a broom to open a padlock made of steel. That one you talked na fake story wey you wan use cover up your shame.”

When Young PrinceIsaac TrumpJnr mentioned his friend atheist Johnsky Agabeze to come and read comments, the whole place read comments, he came and set the whole place on faya?

John replied his mention “this argument is based on a wrong premise, there absolutely no corelation between God and juju, someone can believe in God and not juju while someone can believe in juju powers and still not any God. by making the prove juju card, it means juju is easier to prove than God, doesn’t that really ring a bell?”

Canice replied him “My friend,  the way u were mentioned here proves to me that you claim to be an atheist.

You re welcome.

 

Now sit down let me educate you.

 

God is not necessarily the Bible God.

God is any being that is being worshipped.

Therefore,  since some people like my great grand fathers worshipped juju,  I can tell you that Juju is a God.

 

So since atheism is a lack of belief in the existence of any God at all,  I invite you to disprove the existence of juju too,  cos it is a God.

So when are we going to see a juju priest.

When you re ready,  I will make a post for you so that a volunteer will take you to a juju shrine closest to you.

Let me know when u re ready”

Johnsky resorted “Argumentum ad ignorantum.. Arguing from ignorance, it’s rather tiring and I won’t give that any attention”

Young Prince chipped in “Am now the referee in this context between Johnysky Agbaeze Vs Canice Dim but Johnysky whom I know rather famuuse than succumbing to ur bla bla bla bla bla ???

Darey called him out “Johnysky Agbaeze  You’re the one guilty of that fallacy you just stated. Saying God does not exist because you don’t know or believe he exist what argument out of ignorance is. Except of course, you didn’t do quite well in your philosophy class.”

John replied “I am not going to do this here, anybody can open a special thread and mention me for a debate but just make sure you know exactly what to do debate and how to, not this puerile show up there cus I won’t oblige any childish argument like the ones above” and Canice asked him “Who is debating with you?

 

When will you be ready to visit a juju shrine?”

Johnsky laughed and asked Canice “Wanna debate and defend your beliefs in a logical squabble?” Canice fired back “I am not here to laugh, Let’s do it in a shrine near you. Dare a juju priest and tell him his juju is useless.

Let him try his “fake” juju on you in a spiritual attack.

Are u ready?”

Johnsky boomed “Lol that still is subject to your fear and belief cus I know better. People will always believe things masked by their ignorance. Cheap tricks can only awe lots like you. People do more impressive stuffs on YouTube even. Bro this is 21st century grow the fuck up. Let’s have a simple test.  Let’s get the juju man you boast of, keep a little stone on a small chair and make him remove the stone from the chair without touching it, get your pastor and make him do same. It’s a simple test, should be easy for Juju and the blood of Jesus surely”

Canice replied him “Johnysky You sound scared.

 

Once you agree to meet a juju priest whim you will dare,  I shall make a post on my wall and call for volunteers who would take you to a juju shrine closest to you All Expense Paid. I can rally that up. Trust me.

Stop fearing juju and be claiming atheist.

Face your fears and damn the consequences.

Are we game?”

John took up the challenge “Alright then get your native doctor, get your video cameras ready. I live in Enugu.. Hit me up anytime, come with your native doctor and pastors let’s get it done”

Canice rejoiced “I’m adding you right away.

Get ready for this fame.

Enugu wey shrine plenty?

Uhlala”

Udeh Emmanuel Ekene chipped in “Canice don’t go far, Am from Amurri in Nkannu west LGA of Enugu and presently am in Enugu…. There’s a huge shrine in my village… Johnkay are you game?” (Una no serious o?)

Johnsky mentioned his friend “This will be good Alexander Somto Ora Deon Dazy see challenge ???” and his friend commented “Let me know cos I’m equally waiting for the juju priest too.

 

Get camera men ready and also get your facebook live video.

 

Juju this jiji that, is it not the same juju I’ve been going to watch their nonsense all the time?”

Deon Dazy agreed too “Hahaha I’m game! I especially love these priest dressed in rags. When is the juju man coming, I live in Enugu too”

Canice told them “You will be made to sign an undertaking with the police first,  that any harm done to you by the deity shall not be on anyone’s head. Hope u re still game.”

Deon Dazy resorted “Ignorance is truly a disease. Canice Dim I’ll pay for the undertaking”

Alexander Somto Ora told Canice “Canice Dim you will surely bring the juju man in a public place and also undertake that he/she will not use any metal object or weapon to cut my skin off. Public place will be good for this show before anything else”

Johnsky agreed with his friends “I agree bring the Juju man to Enugu biko, I will personally see to it that we get a successful undertaking. It will be a public show where every camera will be up and the public will be watching plus my workers on my blog will live stream ???”

Udeh Emmanuel told him “Lol…. That can’t happen nah.    You want a prove something… So you have to come with your leg to the shrine… That’s the deal…once you get there you tell the priest that is Powers are fake,let him prove it for you….that’s simple”

Canice concluded “I thought this guy is serious.

You can see fear in his comments.

Mr Udeh Emmanuel Ekene will be your guide to the deity.

I shall be adding up to 10 more people to you.

 

It would be at the shrine.

You will be allowed to come with your cameras.”

Alexander chanted “If they’re not gonna make it public, then it’s out of question! My security worth more than anything else.”

Johnsky concurred “Can you imagine. That’s how you know when people are starkly idiotic. You claim to know someone who have special powers that can be shown but hey not in public, let’s go to his hide out. Ndi nzuzu everywhere”

Udeh Emmanuel told Canice “Canice I think this dude don’t understand the challenge…. Mr man, you can come with your crew and camera men to the shrine…. The deal is you have to go to the shrine… Is that difficult?” He further said “Johnsky I see fear written all over your comment…. Read what Canice Dim wrote up there and understand the challenge…. Stop barking like a kid and braze up for the challenge… I will be willing and glad to take you there… Canice will provide the needed security.. So why being afraid? Johnsky I knw you wella, man I never knw it was you…. Guy so na you they doubt the authenticity of Juju? Jeez… Didn’t knw you are atheist….. That makes the deal easier bro…” (una sabi each other sef. Smh)

And Johnsky replied him “Udeh Emmanuel Ekene Bros na you?  Hehehehe this is good”

Udeh replied him “Na me ooo, accept my friend request make we chat, I think this will be good…”

Alexander still ranted “Stop talking about fear when it’s you guys failing to provide proofs.. This is simple, make everything public and stop ranting.”

Udeh resorted “Alex, how do you want us to make it public when we gave you guys Chance to come with your camera, crew, and whoever you wish to come with, how else do you want it publicise Mr, why are you so afraid going to the shrine to prove your point? Amurri is not that far from Garriki or agbani, so go and ask very well and stop ranting on Facebook”

Johnsky commented “If I fear juju na im be say I go Fear Voldemort for Harry Potter too ???” and Udeh replied him “When you are ready we fix a date… So we can go… Amurri is not far, so you don’t have to be afraid OK…”

Johnsky told him “Ebuka your room mate if i got the name right knows that i am atheistic.”

Udeh replied him “Waw…. Really…. Nahim you never engage me make I open your eye….?Bro, don’t worry accept this challenge, am assuring if you win, I will renounce my religion and join you… Am damn serious…”

 

Johnsky educated him “Udeh Emmanuel Ekene your religious beliefs is not dependent on juju and stuff, there are people who may believe in a God but reject any form of supernatural events such as miracles and magic [check deism] there are also people who might believe in the potency of magic or preternatural occurences while still rejecting the existence of a God. there are not dependent on each other.

so i can follow you to a forest in your village in the name of shrine? So we can’t fund this Dibia to a public place where he can fully demonstrate his power to the full glare of the public? Sounds fishy to me” (doesn’t, you are just scared bro?)

Shola S. Omotosho asked Candice “So you are a juju man,,,? interesting, copy my name and give it to your juju priest,,, nonsense, you continue posting rubbish since yesterday,,,, we are not afraid of juju,, go ahead”

 

Hmmm. Me I never craze enough to say juju no dey exist o, but that’s me shaa. Can’t force another person to believe or not. Una too get time for this Facebook shaa.

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