Aunty Kemi – Patron Saint of Oluwole Documents – Pray For Us

Dear Aunty Kemi, Thou patron saint(ess) of the oluwole documents, pray for us. No seriously, pray for us. Your head is on the chopping block today and even though we are not buying your weak ass defence for why a whooooooole you is presenting fraudulent NYSC exemption documents; the fact remains that Nigeria itself is oluwole. Na just manage we dey manage ourselves for now, make e no be like say we no too like ourselves or like say we dey suffer from “low safe of steam” sontin. Your case…

Dear Nigerians – How was ya Night?

Are fulani Herdsmen your friend?-www.fifietalkslive.com

Dear Nigerians, How was ya night? Four words that trigger so much angst in so many of us that it literally begs the question: what is in a greeting? If someone says ‘how was your night’ to you, what triggers you off so badly that – going by some of the accounts we read of your umbrage – you literally want to yank your hair out by the roots? In order to answer this question for myself, all by myself, I decided to adopt a two-pronged approach and research methodology (trying to sound all…

If you Spare the rod, you spoil the Child -Viola Okolie

Are fulani Herdsmen your friend?-www.fifietalkslive.com

How do you “train” a one year old? How do you even train any child regardless of age, especially when training is viewed from the Nigerian perspective of “half kill the child, and they’ll know better than to go down that route again”. This is one question that has been nagging me  since the recent fictitious issue of the young girl who slapped a year old baby for being too “hyperactive” in her space and pulling off her wig (revealing the alopecia beneath); and smacking her phone out of her…

Healthy Lifestyle | The Teami

I started the #TeamiTea journey as a way to get rid of the bloating. Apparently, it did more than that. I still have lots and lots of idi araba all over the place so maybe when it gets to idimorta levels, I’ll share pictures but… My mum insists I am shrinking. I look at pictures of my face and can’t believe the shrink. A friend also came calling yesterday, someone who had scoffed at the tea when I first showed her and was like “woooooow, what’s the name of that program you…

Men are scum… except for Dangote and Otedola

Are fulani Herdsmen your friend?-www.fifietalkslive.com

Confusion is an average Nigerian woman. First, we all pretend to know what we want; then we realize that what we want may not really be what we want as in: it was what we wanted a few minutes ago, until we realized that if we actually got what we wanted, we may end up not needing it as badly as we wanted it so we have kukuma decided we do not want it again and if anybody calls us on our double standards, we will bite he/she/it/she(m). Case in…

Nigerians, please leave ‘wicked people’ alone

Are fulani Herdsmen your friend?-www.fifietalkslive.com

Fellow Nigerians, See ehn, YOU are the reason why we have stingy and tight-fisted Nigerians who would rather go and bury their money in a soakaway pit than be found “helping” any other Nigerian. Perhaps the day of reckoning has come and it is time we tell ourselves the truth. YOU are the reason why every time a Nigerian is stopped at the borders of other countries, they are subjected to a thorough body cavity search and made to recite the Handel’s Messiah and Miranda Codes backwards – before they…

TeaMi 30 Day Detox Challenge: Discount Code at the Very End of This Review

I have been catching a slight buzz about TeaMi detox here and there – all over the interwebs and have always wondered what it was about. So I tuned in to my favorite reality show 90 Day Fiancee and followed them to the blogs to catch the latest jist before they trickle down to the TV show and saw a picture of the show’s Molly (whose turbulent relationship with her Dominican Republic born husband Luiz’s on-again, off-again MARRIAGE – sorry guys, I had to scream this just in case they…

Village people, leave us alone na

Are fulani Herdsmen your friend?-www.fifietalkslive.com

Dear African Village People, What exactly is your problem? What is stronging all of you? You are supposed to be the ancestors of everybody African and have a certain air of benevolence towards our good fortune at all times, but your falling of hand is usually epic. When you chook your nose in matters and destinies of your children (and their children’s children down to the fourth generation), it is usually with an air of mischief or like we like to call it – drawing back the hands of the…

Artsy, Provocative, Deep… Adaugo, #Feetfie Queen, is Bae!

To bring back #BaeWatch, we track down quintessential Adaugo (not that she was that hard to find, “track down” just sounds like the super sleuthy thing to say, you know). Adaugo is the queen of smart ripostes and sharp one liners. You read her social media updates sometimes and you just want to sit down with a screw driver, open up that head and try to get an idea of how that mind works. Oh, and did we tell you all she is a… Wait, Let us let her tell…