Dear Facebook Feminists,
Why are you all so angry?
What exactly are all these issues you have with men and women and children and yourselves and marriage and etc and etc?
Who spat in your akamu?
I get that we are Nigerians and there is this burning desire to complicate the stupid out of issues or else, we find it difficult to relate, but then surely it gets to a point where too much is more than enough?
Are you at that point yet?
Or do we have to suffer a few more years of your mindless ramblings?
See, you claim to advocate for EQUALITY, nehi?
Equal rice for woman beans, okwa ya?
So how come this equal rice you claim to fight for and believe in, is beginning to look a whole lot more like “pepper dem” and “return fire for fire”? If you keep harping about equality, surely you would see how unequal it is when you begin to tamp down on the rights of the male of the species simply because of “years of oppression and subjugation of the female of the species”.
I don’t understand, how do you produce equality by tipping the scales so overboard in favour of one sex?
You know, we all know what we are doing when we begin to classify you all thusly:
Don’t know the difference?
Okay, I’d be happy to lend a hand:
1. Feminists: of which there are few and far between, these ones do not see the need to announce their feminism like they have just been granted a pass to ride a circus Ferris wheel free of charge.
Most are married, happily so, the male and female of the species. Most are working hard behind the scenes to correct the imbalances in society and ensure that every human has a voice, an equal opportunity at every chance and that society does not treat one of the species as a second class citizen.
They do this mostly quietly.
You and I see the results only.
We benefit from these results and as soon as we latch on, we proceed to taint it by association with our oluwole brand of feminism.
Like I said, few and far between.
2. Nigerian feminists: most of these are unmarried and unschooled girls between the ages of 18 and 25.
Littered all over social media, they have a loooooooooong litany of things they will NOT take from a man, especially in the name of marriage.
For instance, they will not: cook, clean, sweep, bathe, turn on the generator, pick up their own bills, contribute to the home, take care of the kids, have sex outside of the roster in their heads, have any sort of relationship whatsoever with their in laws, take “nonsense” from anyone, buy a house in conjunction with their spouse, respect anyone but themselves or be human.
Their future husbands on the other hand, must be able to: cook, clean, sweep, bathe, turn on the generator, pick up everybody’s bills, take care of all the household expenses, take care of the kids, have sex whenever the woman demands, tolerate their in-laws, absorb nonsense like a brand new sponge, buy a house in their wife’s name only, respect everyone and be super human.
Small wonder this particular breed of “feminists” are on social media everyday, writing long epistles to their future “husbands”. The generation that is most likely to marry them too are reading these epistles and nodding their head in awe.
As in, “continue”!…