A lot of ladies and individuals I’m familiar with can’t seem to quit dubbing me a mystery – and its strange to me ‘coz I’m just me, not working at forcing impressions, my intentions are even far off from being some mystery person. In fact, there actually have been times I’d tried making these people come to terms with my stand, still, they find me mysterious. Wetin I for do na? LOL.
Truth is –
“mystery ought to be beyond what is kept to yourself.”
Evidently, people attempt defining all other individuals they come across. We attempt placing other people into precisely hewn slots in order to indicate the persons they are. Females are found doing this everytime. They just want to decipher your personality in order to reach some quick decisions on the exact functions you will take up within their fantasies – i.e whether or not you’re boyfriend material either for their pals or they themselves (or perhaps, whether or not you’re a loser or you’ll forever be forgotten in the friend zone).
“If you continuously elude the slot they’ve hewn to fit you in, you’ll be renamed – a mystery”
Alot of individuals are static. One year down the line, starting from today, their looks, actions, everything about them may still remain the same. But those that are ever dynamic (in interesting ways – through self discovery and self improvement) turn out making failures of every structures they attempt fitting them in.
*People come across Dr. Cum*
“See! He makes a joke of most things. He’s a comic artist”
*Dr. Cum discusses Philosophy*
“See that?! He loves reading! He’s a scholarly comic artist”
*Dr. Cum pays attention to women’s issues*
“Oh, that’s so beautiful! A real Nice Guy!”
*Dr. Cum wheels through the Ladies*
They scream –
“How!? This Dr. Cum is definitely one Nice Guy Player!”
*Dr. Cum annoys a lady*
“Dafuq! This guy is a jerk!”
*They come across him delivering a speech*
“Awww, an orator. He should start a radio show.”
*He criticizes the government*
“woah! he must be a political activist!”
..and – this continues eternally..
Finally, they reach a decision – Dr. Cum is definitely some Nice Bro./Jerk/Player who happens to be an Activist/Scholar and comic artist /orator. Lmao…such amusing confusion.
The more he’s known, the deeper the mysteries they discover there is to him (they come across continuous change) – there’s always one layer beneath a present layer – Dr. Cum can only be loved or hated, he can’t be defined.
*One could also ask – what about shy guys? They can’t possibly be continuously dynamic like you described?
My thoughts – shy guys should make use of their quietude to the advantage of not giving away too much information about themselves*
“if she knows less, she would want to know more”
This in part answers guys that turn dates into some sort of “bare it all” therapy sessions, whining and opening up on all their pitiable life’s tales.
THE FACT –
She likes a man that bears semblance to a mountain – strong with several underlying layers. I stated in one of my writings –
“females bear semblance to touchstones that scrape the superficial make-up of men in order to assess whether or not they carry gold”
Its one of two things – she digs into your potentials for gold or into your pocket for it. She would travel through these superficial make-ups, grab info – but she knows more resides in there. If you’re beyond her definition, she’s frustrated but you earn her love ‘coz of this.
“You don’t hold back on info, instead, have her make moves towards getting it out”
The moment she’s successful at digging up one of your layers, your mountain throws up five other layers higher than the previous. You’re both never battling boredom. This is attested to by a line in one of my piece:
“if only there were to be some golden rule to wooing ladies, I’ll say, DON’T BE BORING!”
If you were to draw comparisons with that male in static, never changing, mode…she travels right through the layers of his personality all in a brief period, and the mountain of his personality does nothing but sit its ass right there…LOL. Before long, she would think…”those remaining mountains are higher, bigger and far more fun to ascend.” She would erase him then, head towards the next summit, why? THEREIN LIES THE FUN.
Now, you prolly might wonder –
“he has put this much effort into analyzing mystery, maybe it’s prolly better to refrain from talking to ladies all together – it does create some sort of mystery.”
At all! We don’t behold mysteries in people we’re yet to meet or talk to. Why? Those people we’re yet to talk to are assigned within our minds as components of our “environments.” Perhaps, the mind also thinks of them as “props” on our lives’ stage. They only transition from that state the moment some interactions start existing between us and them. Think of it this way – you’ve got friends on social media you’ve never said “hi” to and, you probably do not give a heck – especially since your news feed prolly never brings up anything about them. However, the day such people say “hi”, your interest comes up and you begin trying to figure them out – checking pictures, profile info etc – you naturally want to know more, you want to define them. Its just same with the women folk, give her increasing time and she’ll improve on her efforts at fixing you into a hewn slot. Evolve upwardly, prick her curiosity and you’ll be crowned her mystery.
Bottom line – feel free to allow her delve into thoughts, ruminate and put up drama for no probable reason (just like a typical girl would). Soon, she would come up with reasons it’s safe to like you while still trying to know you. At the end, she would persuade herself that YOU’RE THE MAN.
Perfect is boring, to be human is beautiful.