“I’m not an object, stop treating me like one, I won’t take it!”
You know, I always thought women were being overly dramatic everytime they made statements along those lines. I always thought, “she’s just craving cheap attention” each time I hear some lady complain about being OBJECTIFIED. It never bothered me one bit, infact, I loved writing stories that only described women as “body parts,” rather than “living, breathing, beings capable of emotions” – I gained notoriety for this. A series of events, however, altered my perspective of things.
I’d been suffering a life threatening heart condition for a long time. Those very close to me knew about it. But…
January 2014 – the state of my health was made public, the news broke “Facebook Nigeria,” my popularity shot through the roof, my phones rang non-stop for months. Apparently, I’d been reported dead and it suddenly made me an over night internet sensation.
Almost immediately, my friends and confidants swung into action – they decided to help raise funds online for my surgery.
Alot of people responded – quite alright – and majority of the respondents were females. No biggie, women are naturally more sympathetic than men – that was how I thought of it.
Now, I decided to personally begin talking to the respondents – only to find that MAJORITY (not all) of them were more interested in “having a piece of me” than actually helping to raise funds for the surgery I so badly needed. It was so so horrific, even those that mostly appeared like saints (deeply religious) at the start almost always turned up “toasting” me at some points in time.
Oh…I was so deeply disappointed, I felt useless. Here, I was dying, health fast deteriorating, in urgent need of help – but all these people could think of was how to “get down with” and probably pay me for it??? I FELT LIKE THE PIECE OF MEAT WHOSE PRICE IS BEING BATTERED AS IT LIES ON THE SLAB A SHEARER.
My condition further worsened.
Some of my confidants urged me to play their little game. I tried – it just wasn’t my thing, couldn’t push through with it.
Still, I needed 3 million naira, and actually, I did have some serious females show up for me – but they were few – they only were able to help raise little over 200k.
April 2014, I pulled the plug on the online fund raising, couldn’t stand the sort of reactions I was getting any longer.
I was done with it, I was going to LIVE, I just wasn’t going to stand one more moment of being OBJECTIFIED. I’d come to realize that…
“people would hardly give you a thing for free, unless they were getting something in return”
It wasn’t easy though, but I survived, I brought something better to the table – I re-channeled the little I’d been able to gather into starting a toll free line for phone therapy. I raised the 3 mil exactly a year after I started this.
Now, what is it I’m looking for that has made me delve so far back in time? A lesson. I look back at those trying times, I try to see beyond that period too – and, while I’m definitely still on the path of self improvement, it suddenly occurred to me…
I WAS A VICTIM OF THE MONSTER I HAD CREATED, none of those ladies need be blamed for their “attitude.” We teach people how to treat us. By objectifying females in my writings, I was subconsciously sending an “its-okay-to-treat-me-like-an-object” signal to the outside world, and Karma – it came right back at the worst of times – to bite me in the ass.
Just as love always comes back, negativity also returns.
SHE IS HUMAN, NOT A PIECE OF OBJECT, treat her right.
To be human is beautiful.