Ivan And The Bomb He Throws

Facebook is too hot, in fact am sure hell dey learn work when it comes to hotness cause the one weh dey Facebook these few past days fit fear the devul sef.

 

When we all are still teaching Immanuel Ifediata and his supporters, a thing or two things about ‘catching them young and naive’ , Ivan-Whyte Eagle Lawson be dey put on faya weh fit burn am join sef

 

He has been on a ceaseless fight with Onyinye Ndupu aka Rogue Nun since and now he has joined one of Onyinye’s friends to the kasala. Una wan know who e join? Na Zerochill Sub king Hymar Idibie David! I hope say the boy sabi wetin he dey do so? Hmmm!

 

He first of all lamented how Hymar is proud and issh upon he is disabled (disability weh guy man dey Slay since na im e wan use shame am? Smh), he now resorted to full time character defaming

He wrote “GOD IN HEAVEN WOULD STRIKE ME IF I DID NOT EXPOSE HYM*R   ID*BIE   DAV*D TODAY.

(This will be a long read)

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Sequel to my last post where I was advising a certain somebody(not a sub),my inbox was lit up with messages.Over 7 ladies had similar bitter testimonies to give about a certain handicapped individual.3 of the ladies are actually Facebook friends of mine.

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This little shocking revelation revolves around an individual that calls himself a god,and a Facebook sub-king.He struts about Facebook posting photos of his bared anatomy and entrapping women with the sole aim of sleeping with them and duping them of their money.

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His name is Hym*r Id*bie Dav*d.

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And his modus Operandi?

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(    ….Buckle your seat belts,ladies and gentlemen and brace yourselves as I tell you a most shocking tale. )

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He sends friend requests to successful-looking women,and after you accept,he claws his way into your inbox and asks you to participate in the voting process of a writing contest on Facebook Flash Fiction which he will direct you to.

Shortly after,he wiggles back to your inbox and drops hints on which short prose he personally wrote and then commences talking about how deep he is and how his mind works, in a bid to entrance you.

Thereafter,he will surreptitiously tag you on all his old semi-nude photos and once you react to them,he’ll quickly untag you and get chatty inbox with you.

From here,he will tell you how much he loves to travel,and then ask you the lengths you would go to have him in your city and bed.

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While you are still making up your mind,Hym*r will drop a short 250-word story  on erotica in your inbox every night until you are literally panting his name in your nightmares.

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He will ask for your phone number,but tell you that he doesn’t like talking on the phone,so he would be communicating mostly via sms.You wouldn’t find that exactly queer because his sms’s would persistently leave you sopping wet.

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Depending on how he profiles you,he will ask you to send either flight ticket money or bus transport money after he has convinced you that you 2 could be the next hot item after Romeo and Juliet…or Will Smith and Jada Pinketh.

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After you transport him to your location,he will start acting withdrawn and moody like you forced him to travel against his will,so you will have to ‘compensate’ him by buying him designer T-shirts,polos and Jeans because ‘he loves to travel light and didn’t have time to pack enough clothes from home’ due to your insistence on his travelling.

Surely,you didn’t expect him to look ‘under-dressed’ with his 6-packs and intimidating biceps when you 2 go on outings.

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Throughout his stay,he convinces you that you are indeed lucky,that he turned down other girls for you,and while you are basking in the euphoria of being special,he milks you bone-dry.His monthly internet subscription,an imaginary web business he needs funding for,a literature lovers’ initiative he is gathering mass sponsorship for–It is your money that will settle all of them.

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For some,he makes it seem like a loan between intimate friends,for others,he makes it look like ‘payment in cash’ for ‘fringe benefits’ and erotic services rendered or for the promise of undying love.

For the older ladies,he makes them pay double because he is in ‘high demand’ and not off the market,and hence needs constant ‘oiling’ to focus his attentions on their menopaused genitalia.

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…I could go on and on.

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I am making this post on behalf of the ladies out there who loved truly and sincerely and only ended up being exploited,extorted and ditched in the bin.

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I am making this post on behalf of those girls who have no voice on Facebook,and are afraid to come forward and confront him because they don’t want to be slut-shamed by his bedraggled followers.

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Let me be your voice today.

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Several sweet ladies have been faithful to this individual and have infact stood by him faithfully despite his maniacal habits.A few even he has dragged through destructive relationships etched with break-ups,make-ups and about a dozen abortions.

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I don’t know specifically how many other ladies have had abortions on his account,but so far..I know of one.

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Hym*r Id*bie Dav*d must be stopped.

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He may not exactly be liable to be arraigned before a chief magistrate as a sex-offender and arrested,but his shameful exploits can be exposed on this Facebook–which is the only forte and platform where he can afford to be relevant on.

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Am I angry?

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I am sickened.

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Where or how does Hym*r Idib*e Dav*d even grow the balls to sit down to type defamatory drivel about me and other people?

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And a god he calls himself?

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And a sub-king? ?

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god that cannot pay his bills and hussle honourably,but exploits a woman’s sexual feelings to get her to spend her money on him?

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Sub-King that cannot even afford to pay for his own clothes,but deceives a woman to do so for him?

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21st century Shakespeare that cannot transport his own damn self to go and frolick with a woman,but asks her to send transport money first?

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I am not ashamed of you,Hym*r.

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I am ashamed of myself…..

…You were never worth my hard-earned insults and I have been sowing them religiously on your bald head since I encountered you.

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You should bow to me,Hym*r Id*b*e because I am your god.Bow low and suck on my dirty toes.

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I am using this post to call out on any lady,female,or girl that can claim that I swindled her of money.I want to show Hym*r Idib*e Dav*d that we aren’t equals.

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Am I saying I don’t like women?

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By a long ways NOOOO.

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I love beautiful women a lot.

I love to cosy up to them in my inbox,and nothing reawakens my creativity more like a good morning love-making.

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But I am a man who has a big ego,functional pride,and stainless honour.

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If I must travel to visit a woman,I must be able to transport myself from my pocket.

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Because I plan on having sex with a woman doesn’t entitle me to emptying her bank balance—Jesus…don’t you have a conscience??

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I am very uncomfortable accepting money from women.Very very uncomfortable.There was a really rough point in my life where there were temptations,but I took some really   suicidal risks just to ensure I don’t go parasiting and leeching on a woman.

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True…there are certain very mature women on here that have surprised me with unexpected cash gifts without my asking,but I never take advantage of it or dangle my six packs and testicles as bait.

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I never also carve a reputation for myself from ripping women off.I rather see myself as someone that female friends can run to for assistance when I can.

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This is not lame pride or having a swollen ego.It is being decent and embracing your manliness and manhood.

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When I sit to hear how a male that calls himself a god can comfortably be a serial woman-extortionist and a classless gigolo,I whistle in stupefaction.

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It isn’t a crime to nature for you to use your body as a tease and a lure to women,but when your end game is ripping and duping them off their money,then you are a reproach to civilization and an abomination to the natural order of things.

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Your mates are building their bodies up in the gym so they can bag multi-million naira modelling contracts for companies like Gillette,Power Horse,Lucozade Boost,and Sure body deodorant—-meanwhile Hymar Idibie David is building his up to trap women and make them spend on him and stock up his wardrobe.

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He is also building his muscles up to beat the track-record of the founding fathers of Kamasutra.

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Hym*r Id*bie Dav*d…today is the day you meet your Water loo in my hands.

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One of the girls you treated as a dishrag was and is still quite special to me.

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Beautiful ladies don’t deserve to be treated that way,and as long as I remain on this Facebook I will witch-hunt scourges like you.

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If you want to be a gigolo,by all means embrace it.It is an honest way of life….

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….But never open your mouth where real men that hussle and pay their own bills are.

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….and never ever insult ‘godship’ by calling your handicapped under-achieving b*eggarly self a god.

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‘Works at ‘professional waka waka’,right?’Always ‘wakaing’ from state to state to dupe women,hunh?

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You are a hypocr*te on Facebook.A pitiful one at that.You evoke this honourable and dignified personality to the world,but when we narrow stuff down,you are as cheap as a rusty lead nickel,a bottle of left-over root beer and a bad smell.

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You act all proud,arrogant and haughty,but your pride still can’t prevent you from deceiving women and collecting their money.

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Lop*x Morri*sa Escand*ll,I hope you have deleted this deaf and dumb cr*tin off your list.Now you know why he sent you a friend request.Maybe he thought you were based in Nigeria.

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I’m not nearly done with you,Hym*r!!

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•Ivan Lawson•

(Ivan The Terrible)” (Nnah you are indeed terrible, your name suits you o)

 

Funny thing is that people are there jumping upandan like stray preeq, hailing him and tagging others to come and read (smh)

 

Anybody that says something contrary to what he wrote, earns an instant backlash and a spot in his blockville and of course he deletes your comment straight up!

 

Mehn! Ayam tired of humans on Facebook, even Asiri gods weeps on you people’s behalf. Tueh!

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One Thought to “Ivan And The Bomb He Throws”

  1. Tolu

    Thank you Àṣírí, for keeping lastmas like me up to date. This Facebook ehn?, dem go soon ban am for naija. Different things wey person eye dey see. Tueh.

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