Joy Fires Back, giving Accurate Comebacks

My lovers, wetin I tell una? Shebi I said h-angry Joy won’t let this one waka pas? Shebi I said she must surely come for Mark? Ngwa kwa o, e haf start. As in she lived up to the name weh dem dey call am; PETTY QUEEN! As in Mark messed with the wrong person, she tear clothes, comot slippers roll on the floor with am??


She posted “I am not sure how some people can live with themselves. I have never met Mark Anthony Osuchukwu. Never shared a word with him. He sent inbox messages that I totally ignored. He wants my attention, and by every right I denied him that attention. He loves my writing. He loved my movie review. He loves my rants. He wants a job. He wants to send an article. He wants a job. Hello. Hello. Halloooo. Since 2015.  I didn’t respond. I know his type – fawners and leeches.


How do you move from that kind of inbox messages… to this despicable dung?

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This kind of obsession is disgusting.


There’s something about a group of religious people that cannot see how hateful they are and how very undeserving they are of any kind of love from God.


You write all these facile shit, but you were in my inbox only just last year begging for my attention. And tonight, you will be praying to God.

Remember to tell him that you do not wish to live long enough to be 40 or have any woman in your kin experience menopause. You can’t live through that embarrassment.


(PS: Do women in their 40s suffer menopause?)


I haven’t changed. I have always been vocal. I write. I critique. All I ask for is intelligent conversation, rubbing of minds. But what do you get? A bunch of lazy writers foaming from their mouths. The entire piece goes over their heads.


You were formed from goat sperm, after sleeping with a rabid dog, Mark. You are not only a disgrace, but you will bear the consequences of your utterances. You will wipe the toilet my children drop their waste. That is your future.

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I have decided to choose you as my scapegoat.


My lawyer will get to you. We shall scrape every possibility of legal matter from that shit you wrote and use it in a court of law.

I will waste my time. Shebi you have been looking for my attention? You have it now, you scoundrel. I hope you have a sponsor? All the list of blogs you write for, will the peanuts see you through this slow Nigerian legal process? I’ll advice you polish your stalking craft and find someone who actually cares enough to pay you attention, so you can scrape some change off them.  Legal matters are very expensive. That god you serve that allows your mouth to lick the crevices of sewage must stand for you now. Because you will be needing it.

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Whatever you were banking on… Joy’s silence, bigger person ignoring your miniscule personality – in your case, it failed. I will not be silent like I have been with the other little boy-writers seeking attention. Because in your case… YOU WERE ALL OVER MY INBOX, you animal!


Right in your nasty post, you managed to threaten me.


You will hear from me. It is going to be a very rough ride for you for the rest of the year.


God must be very proud of you now.


PS: And in all of this, nobody has yet addressed the issues I raised. Phew!


She went as far as posting screen grabs of the inbox messages between her and Mark Osuchukwu since 2015


This aunty gat Joy at all, as in zero, zilch, nada. Damn!??


Dear Mark, I hope you are still breathing just fine? Ndoo Nnah??

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One Thought to “Joy Fires Back, giving Accurate Comebacks”

  1. Tolu Ogunrinde

    Limp limp comeback. Make she shift abeg. Lawyer kò, lawyer ni. She should be taken to court too for slander.

    Hiding under the guise of rant.. She does more harm than good. That’s not to say she’s not intelligent, as I have read quite a few of her posts… Sane ones.

    Thank you Àṣírí for updating us. May your fuel ta nk never be empty as you rove the streets of Facebookville.

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