Jungle Don Mature

Image source: Odyssey online

Jungle don mature

*tests mike*

Hello? Are you there? 

Okay. See ehn, theinternet is buzzingwith the news of the girl who gave one guy epic #TrailerJam because of a date that they went on. The story goes that they went on a one-off date, which didn’t end so well, based on say the girl no gree, and how, when  the boy came to call the girl out for not agreeing to the relationship, after #chopping his money, the girl sent him more than the amount he spent on the date and told him to keep the change. Now news making the rounds is that the girl has become a first bank ambassador. Exactly what first bank wants to use her as an ambassador for is not clear to me, but  one thing is sure, this will lead to a whole new level of viciousness in the interactions among the males and females of our species. Where before there was subbing, now there will be naming and shaming, and the guys who used to readily slide into ladies’ inboxes for unsavory and salacious conversations will have to beware, more than ever before,  before, of the screenshot function available in most mobile phones and other handheld devices. By now, e suppose don clear, even to the biggest suegbe ,  that the jungle don mature. Social media don open eye, tear eye well-well , even, If tweets and retweets can fetch someone an ambassadorial endorsement, and from no less an industry titan than first bank itself, then we can be sure that

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*cues Naeto C music*

things are not the same,

things are not the same as before…


but wait o, let us take some time off from our laughing and head-shaking, and consider a few serious issues. I know that prior to now, the trend has been to chant “feminism”, and “death to patriarchy”, “women are stronger than men”, and all such stuff. Personally, I’m a believer in not according anyone any special privileges because of gender or the nature of your urinary organs. This of course does not translate to my loved ones. My nieces and nephews, in that order are high on my list, and nieces come before nephews because… well, vulnerability. This girl and her wannabe boyfriend, who have since earned the hashtag #KeepTheChange, are unique on a number of counts:

The girl did not show up at the joint with a convoy of her friends in tow: a number of girls love this. Some random guy who is interested in being your friend, after getting past the hello-hi stage, decides that he would like to go out, hang out a little, perhaps spend some time getting to know you better, and next thing, you import the SQUAD. Kudos to her for doing this.

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She did not approach with the mindset that the boy’s pocket was the bottomless pit: some females do this. When taken on a date, they immediately begin to order everything on the menu, perhaps only the highest reaches of self control stops this kind from eating the menu itself, having annihilated everything ON the menu. She went to hang out with the boy (let us avoid using the word date, so people don’t think we are implying that they were in a relationship), and ordered modestly, the kind of things that (to my way of thinking at least) someone going out to just have fun could by without breaking the bank. In order words, she had mercy. Abi? Wrong. It is not mercy to go out on a date and order modestly, it is common sense and good breeding.


See ehn, I see differently. I don’t look at things the way most people do, so I approach everything I see with a heavy dose of skepticism. Till date, I’m yet to figure out how exactly the girl was able to accurately find and locate the guy’s account number in order to transfer the money to him, but I am open to suggestions. Could it be that the whole thing was staged? In this era of media manipulation, very little is impossible, meaning that a whole lot is possible. But that is not the thrust of this gist. People have been known to plan entire twitter threads so as to achieve a certain effect. Whether this was planned or just happened, the point is the jungle don mature, social media is now moe of a minefield than ever, and whoever is fond of misbehaving, mis-posting, and mistweeting, be careful, an ambassador might just decide that you are his/her ticket.

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I know you have something to say, there is space in the comments section for you.

P.S: My eyebrows are still up on that account number matter sha, because I know how many of my friends have my account number, and believe me, they are not many, and besides, any person I can give my account number to has to have crossed a certain stage of friendship with me, I don’t know about you.

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