Kids Are Over Rated

Our memory verse is taken from the book of genesis, chapter 2 verse 18,WPB (World People’s Bible) and it says, “and God saw that the man did not have children, a bevy of them, littering the earth, and God decided that He would give him a wife, so that they could get busy and set  to sprinkling the earth with their seed.”

Is the verse familiar?

It probably is, but not in this incarnation. For those of you wondering what this is all about, allow me to introduce the topic. Sit down, arrange yoyr feathers gently, because I’m about to ruffle them.

In relationships, marriages, and friendships, children are overrated. It is a mindset I have always held on to, but you see, we life in a country, and a continent at that, where the worth of a couple (and the burden is heavier on the female partners) is dependent on how fast they can procreate.


A man and woman get married, and the in-laws immediately start asking questions.

“E don enter?”

“You don score?”

“How many una dey now?”

“You need to become a family o, right now you are just a couple.“

And so on and so forth. The comments may start out mild, polite, well meaning, at first, but things get ugly really quick when a year or two pass, and the Missus still has her belly flat like that of a greyhound. In a discussion somewhere, sometime in the recent past, I told my fellow hangers-out (or hangout-ers) that it was okay to not want kids. That a marriage could be perfectly in order if there were no kids. A lot of people disagreed. And gave their reasons.

To those who gave the Biblical injunction of “be fruitful and multiply”, I remarked that only the narrow minded, unexposed, and intellectually bereft would assume that the command was a license to immediately begin a rush of procreation. The bible records that even after the injunction was given, they lived in the garden for a while, working and tending it, and going about duties assigned to them by God, before the serpent came on the scene, and the eating of apples and the awareness of nakedness. It is especially noteworthy that up until the fall, when they were being booted out of the garden, eve was still not pregnant.

Such a thing would not have escaped the notice of the Good Lord. If the injunction had been given, why had Adam not gotten the “flesh of his flesh and bone of his bones” pregnant? Disobedience? Or a pull-out game that was spotless? Condoms, perhaps? I confess to being more than mildly interested in what an antediluvian version of a prophylactic would have looked like. The bible didn’t say Adam’s great need was progeny, and the means to beget them, it was “that it was not good for him to be alone, so an help meet for him was fashioned.” Besides, at that time, it would be fair to assume animals had just been created, most likely in pairs, which only served to highlight Adam’s unique loneliness, and the lack of one of his kind. So I can say confidently that the animals would not have been in any kind of hurry to start procreating.

The country, and indeed the world is facing a population explosion of humongous proportions, and the best you can do is to immediately get about securing your progeny, so that “your name will not be lost”? what the bleeping obscenity is your name? the world’s population is expanding exponentially, with each new birth being a strain on available resources, and all we in Africa can think of is the narcissistic and ”unselfish” idea that a man must have a vast brood of children. Self perpetuation is our stock in trade in Africa. It’s in us, even deeper than peak milk, I think. Despite the shoddy conditions, we just want to live, live and live. Think geriatric presidents, think aging despots holding on to power, and perhaps you will have a clearer insight into my position.

Kids are nice, cute, cuddly, and all whatnot, but they are by no means a declaration of worth, nor should they be used to praise a woman for having them, or to shame a woman for not having them. Marriage is for companionship, primarily.

Argue with buhari’s waec result.


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