Restaurants are lifesavers. But restaurant customers, on the other hand, are in a different class entirely. Here’s a list of seven most hilarious restaurant customers;
- The ones that pay and leave a tip
These are obviously the ones that have either watched too many Hollywood movies or that just came back from overseas but still think they are there. It’s against the Nigerian code to pay people twice for the same thing, and that’s exactly what the institution of tipping does. They’ll be raising the standard for other nice folks like us.
- The ones that it’s a battle for them to pay
These ones bounce in like they own the place, order for enough food to feed a nuclear family, and then start playing hard to get when it’s time to pay for all the food they have swallowed thus far. They either make cringe-worthy attempts at flirting with the waiter first or they say the food has to digest first before they pay. As if there’s any relationship between undigested food and a reluctant wallet.
- The ones that end up washing plates
These ones eat all they came to eat and end up not having enough money to clear the bill. There are two universal reasons for this particular mishap. One is because they came with a date, ordered for more than the date can afford and the date being a sharp Nigerian ran off and left them with the bill.
The other reason is that they didn’t bother to know how much food costs in said restaurant before going on to order, and then as expected, it turns out the bill is almost as high as their rent so they end up dedicating a sizable chunk of their destiny to washing plates for the restaurant.
- The ones that eat and don’t finish it
These ones make for a messy dishwashing, they make it a point to not eat all their food because they don’t want to come off as classless or too hungry.
Which is an amusing irony because the only reason you go to a restaurant is that you are hungry. Although sometimes people just don’t finish the food because the food is undeniably and indigestible crappy.
Or because they’re not really hungry and got manipulated or bullied into going on a date. Either way when these people leave the restaurant, there’s always a chunk of unusable food left in the plate.
- The ones that eat and refuse to go
These ones will finish eating and rather than move on with their lives like normal human beings, they’ll sit back and take their time to do some absolutely needless thing like picking their teeth or just look out into space with the euphoria of someone who just fought a good fight against hunger and won. These ones obviously mistake the restaurant for their living room.
- The ones that don’t even buy anything but came to charge
These ones just came to charge their phone. And because they don’t have the courtesy to respect someone else’s hustle they’ll take a seat meant for actual customers and stay for so long that they become a nuisance.
- The ones that come with a party
These ones came to eat in group oh, next thing one person is giving another person lap dance, the other person is twerking, the other one is going to turn up the music in the restaurant and voom! Party aff start. These are the kind of people you call security for, since they decided to forget their home training at home.
- The ones that yell their whole time
These ones act like they live in a land filled with deaf aliens so they have to screech every syllable or it won’t be heard. Immediately they have both feet in the door they yell for the waiter’s attention, yell their order and when they are done eating, you guessed right, they yell the bill across. For some reason they always come along with a pot belly.
- The ones that came to propose
These ones just came to propose to their girlfriend and have it videoed so they can put it up on social media and hashtag it “HE PROPOSED” alongside lots of cheesy emojis. They cause commotion in the restaurant and don’t even spend on actually patronizing the restaurant.
But, on the plus side they give the restaurant free exposure and advertisement by putting the video online, and seeing as most “Proposal videos” go viral the restaurant will in turn be getting enough exposure to make up for the commotion caused.