Nigerians and #HallelujahChallenge: Jokers take Lead

I am not happy. Before I tell you why, let me digress a bit.  Look up at the headline I have written up there. Now let me ask you a question: what if I am from Anambra State, South -East Nigeria?

That would mean that I was trying to say we pray too much, right? Now be honest to yourself, does it not seem that we overdo this thing sometimes?

I have seen Nigerian Christians  arrive at places of business hours late, due to having spent the peak hours of the morning, which are the most productive  hours of the day, at some church or prayer house, praying for business breakthrough, and then come back and sit in shops waiting for customers who have long since put in appearances and finding the shop locked, gone on to their unbelieving competitors who showed up for business on time and made  the selfsame hefty purchases the Christians have spent (wasted)precious business time praying for and about.


I have seen civil servants show up late for work, as a direct consequence of some church program or other, and rather than get down to business, they waste time further by praying in offices and parastatals that have functions other than prayer. But the real idiots, whom I have no sympathy for, are the business owners and employers of labour who employ people based on references from Pastors and other religious leaders.

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Because your pastor, religious leader, Daddy in the Lord, or whatever you choose to call him/her, is someone who, ideally, sees you only a few hours each week. i.e. the hours of worship in the church or mosque. How then is such a person qualified to give an objective assessment of your abilities and capabilities as a worker? I know a lot of #Wobile brethren, Children of Wobe, who are (seemingly) diligent and devoted workers in church. But after church? The outer garments come off, and the inner Wobe is revealed. Nigerians are needlessly religious.  Churches are springing up here, there, and everywhere, the ones that sprang up way back are moving to their permanent sites and other addresses that begin with “Kilometer”, and yet, neither the makers of condoms nor the makers of  cigarettes and beer have declared a loss in company profits. Who then is drinking these things, smoking these things, and shagging this plenty-plenty shagging?

Ehen, on top this Hallelujah Challenge thing.

Nigerians are not serious. Eziokwu. The Challenge, if what I hear is true, is a gathering of individuals to praise God every day from the stroke of twelve midnight till one am. That is not bad, it is a well-known fact that even the most wicked and demonic people enjoy praise, despite having done nothing praiseworthy. Even Buhari’s hangers on and cronies praise him as man of integrity, a tag he struggles mightily each day to prove himself to be unworthy of, what with the myriad of inconsistencies in his values and judgments. But I digress.

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If, for any reason, or for no reason at all, a group of Christians decide to gather in their various individual houses, from the privacy of their devices, and using the data they spent their hard-earned money to buy, and Praise God by association, how does it affect anyone, or indeed, everyone?

Biko, if it affects you, kindly indicate, let me direct you to where you can have a bath with cold water, so that you can chill, both literally and figuratively, because your hatred is very strong. It should not affect you, just as whoever I am in love with is not your business.

If, for some reason, you now decide to tie that your midnight gymnastics to some real, visible cause, such as improving the economy, or resuscitating our ailing president, or some other such, I can begin to concede that it may affect me, or anyone else, somewhat. But you see ehn, when you do #HallelujahChallenge in the night, then by all hours of the following day, you are busy subbing, co-subbing, and counter-subbing, shading, co-shading, and counter-shading, then I must in all honesty ask you to pick a hustle. You cannot be playing for both teams in the match at once. You are either one or the other. Not the twain, no, not you alone.

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The improvement of the economy, increase in purchasing power, and a better standard of living are all laudable goals, but please do not tie them to prayer and praise. These things need far more than that. We need a national reawakening, not a prayer challenge. And while we are talking national, let me just ask you to wonder why this challenge had to come during the muslim fasting month of Ramadan.

Beloved, this is the New Testament, God does not come down from heaven to do anything for anyone. Let us pray, yes, but let us work. And work hard too, it’s our country, you know.

Tell me what you think.

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