Flying Nigerians and BBCs? I stand with the sacked BA Girl – Viola Okolie

viola okolie

Being Nigerian in this world is no mean feat. I ruminated over this silently as I watched the extremely slim Turkish girl with the super atrocious grammar, bend my passport into all sorts of incriminating positions, all in a bid to discover a fault line somewhere that would  (perhaps?) justify her conviction that I was Nigerian ergo, travelling on a fake passport. I breathed a silent word of prayer to the non existent Nigerian god of patience as the girl, having molested my passport in every way possible, began to…

Oga Nnamdi: missing in action?

When it comes to the Biafra matter, I’m in charge of saying all the “ I Told You So” in the book, because for as long as we have had this column, and even a good deal before, I have been screaming this from the top of my voice, from street corner and rooftop alike, telling people not to put their faith in someone who claims to be fighting and agitating for the separation, or rather secession, of one region from a country but still retains citizenship of another, very…

Whom the gods want to kill..

They first make mad, or so it is said. The Yoruba have a similar saying, that when Ogun wants to kill a dog, it will first make it not to remember the hunter’s whistle, so as to make it hard for anyone interested in the salvation of the dog to call the dog to order. The wanna-be feudal lord and pro Biafra activist, Nnamdi Kanu, is at it again. He has not been keeping silent, I have just decided not to focus on him all this while, I didn’t want…

All these for Humour

Infidelity

How low have we sunk in the name of humour? This came in one of several whatsapp groups that I happen to belong to: [Mr Okafor and his wife had lived together for years. One day, Mr. Okafor told his wife he was travelling for a convention. His wife believed him and he left. Two days later, she heard from a neighborhood tatafo that her husband was shacked up in the house of his mistress three streets away. Not believing, she went there herself, and saw her husband’s car, and…

Cisi Eze | The Feminist Look

feminist Cisi

Asilovers, get in here fas fas. It went down on a feminist’s wall yesterday. Cisi Eze posted something on her wall that rattled some men and they came venting, well she and her goons matched them faya for faya See the post weh cause the wahala below; “Do you know how hard I laugh when I hear people tell women, “When you are single at forty”? As Sister Cisi that serves you bitter truth, here are truths about women: Some of us do not want men. We want other women.…

Dear Slay queens and kings, abeg slay with sense – Viola Okolie

viola okolie

In case you missed it, something awesome flitted by and set social media on flame this week. It was a total “blink and you miss it” moment, I happened to catch it just by chance and believe me, it was awesome to behold. In a nutshell, South African slay king Shaun Stylist and his slay queen girlfriend Lebo, had been on this #RelationshipGoals thing for a long while. The sum total of their relationship in case you were wondering, would be: matching shoes, matching wristwatches, matching face makeup and a…

Identifying bitter Friends | Kate Bassey might consider Fumigation.

Some people bitter die for this zone, as in their bitterness don curl the hair weh dey for their nose finish? People go just stay for their ‘ause’ ‘ate’ pelsin weh no do them anything, you go think say na you person dey reason until one day the hatred no go gree them hold again and vuum! They let it out Upcoming Facebook celebrity Kate Bassey ‘subtly’ called out one of her Facebook celeb Eby Amanda Pius-Urum out on her wall today and a mouth gaping drama took place She…

Young Nigerian men, I pity una – Viola Okolie

viola okolie

Dear Young Men,   I never knew the day would come when I would actually write these words but: I pity you all, sometimes. I totally and honestly do and this is not satire or sarcasm or something. There are no hidden meanings or nuances behind the feeling of pure pity I feel when I see what the world and its female dog (otherwise known as Naija Facebook feminism), is trying to turn you all into. I remember when we were active in the dating game back in the days.…

Amaka Abara Hits back hard with Evidence

angry woman pointing

This Ephraim/Amaka shaming kiniko isn’t going to fizzle out anytime soon, Amaka haf fired back at him with all the bazookas in her Arsenal and she did it with screenshots of their whole conversation. Bro wan display small madness for this app forgetting nobody has monopoly to ‘misyarn’, he no even remember say some people don sell their shame one cowry for afia ogbete? The Amaka Abara geh comot her gele, tie am tight for her waist and brought out heyez weh she dey carry shit hard shit for this…