If you Spare the rod, you spoil the Child -Viola Okolie

Are fulani Herdsmen your friend?-www.fifietalkslive.com

How do you “train” a one year old? How do you even train any child regardless of age, especially when training is viewed from the Nigerian perspective of “half kill the child, and they’ll know better than to go down that route again”. This is one question that has been nagging me  since the recent fictitious issue of the young girl who slapped a year old baby for being too “hyperactive” in her space and pulling off her wig (revealing the alopecia beneath); and smacking her phone out of her…

Men are scum… except for Dangote and Otedola

Are fulani Herdsmen your friend?-www.fifietalkslive.com

Confusion is an average Nigerian woman. First, we all pretend to know what we want; then we realize that what we want may not really be what we want as in: it was what we wanted a few minutes ago, until we realized that if we actually got what we wanted, we may end up not needing it as badly as we wanted it so we have kukuma decided we do not want it again and if anybody calls us on our double standards, we will bite he/she/it/she(m). Case in…

Nigerians, please leave ‘wicked people’ alone

Are fulani Herdsmen your friend?-www.fifietalkslive.com

Fellow Nigerians, See ehn, YOU are the reason why we have stingy and tight-fisted Nigerians who would rather go and bury their money in a soakaway pit than be found “helping” any other Nigerian. Perhaps the day of reckoning has come and it is time we tell ourselves the truth. YOU are the reason why every time a Nigerian is stopped at the borders of other countries, they are subjected to a thorough body cavity search and made to recite the Handel’s Messiah and Miranda Codes backwards – before they…

Village people, leave us alone na

Are fulani Herdsmen your friend?-www.fifietalkslive.com

Dear African Village People, What exactly is your problem? What is stronging all of you? You are supposed to be the ancestors of everybody African and have a certain air of benevolence towards our good fortune at all times, but your falling of hand is usually epic. When you chook your nose in matters and destinies of your children (and their children’s children down to the fourth generation), it is usually with an air of mischief or like we like to call it – drawing back the hands of the…

Watch new action film: Senate versus IGP – Viola Okolie

Are fulani Herdsmen your friend?-www.fifietalkslive.com

“Viola, be a woman of your words”, my mother scolded me. “If you know you do not plan to take any disciplinary action against this girl, stop announcing it and threatening her if not, she will learn not to take you serious”. That was my mother chiding me during the early days of struggling to raise my daughter. She would watch my daughter push my boundaries several times and me trying to regain control of the situation, would scold: “If you don’t leave that thing alone now, I will smack…

Dear ‘feminist’, why so angry? Viola Okolie

viola okolie

Dear Facebook Feminists, Why are you all so angry? What exactly are all these issues you have with men and women and children and yourselves and marriage and etc and etc? Who spat in your akamu? I get that we are Nigerians and there is this burning desire to complicate the stupid out of issues or else, we find it difficult to relate, but then surely it gets to a point where too much is more than enough? Are you at that point yet? Or do we have to suffer…

Flying Nigerians and BBCs? I stand with the sacked BA Girl – Viola Okolie

viola okolie

Being Nigerian in this world is no mean feat. I ruminated over this silently as I watched the extremely slim Turkish girl with the super atrocious grammar, bend my passport into all sorts of incriminating positions, all in a bid to discover a fault line somewhere that would  (perhaps?) justify her conviction that I was Nigerian ergo, travelling on a fake passport. I breathed a silent word of prayer to the non existent Nigerian god of patience as the girl, having molested my passport in every way possible, began to…