Wehdone Sah !

Image source: Odyssey online

Dear Reader,

If you live in a country, and you find out that you have to run, and I mean sprint, to the nearest socket to charge your computer and phones whenever the power supply is restored and cries of “Up Nepa”pierce the stillness of the air, because you measure power supply when supplied in minutes and seconds, and have to get to the socket as soon as possible to take advantage of every possible volt, every possible ampere, since you can not remember signing any agreement with the distribution companies to provide regular power,  and you find yourself having to “wear a suit, appoint yourself minister of power, and turn on the generator” whenever evening comes, because the power is never there, then you have my sympathy. The DISCOs, as the distribution companies are called, is really fitting, judging from the erratic and stuttering amounts of power supplied to consumers, reminiscent of flickering lights in a discotheque.

If in your country, you are led by a leadership that treats the citizenry  as a huge joke, because despite fantastic budgetary allocations to the Presidential villa hospital, allegedly to combat medical tourism, the President still went on to send #10.2 billion of our country’s taxpayers’ sweat and blood on a medical leave that was extended, and our national assembly, which, despite being one of the world’s most highly paid, is one of the world’s most inept and uncouth,  fighting tooth and nail to preserve the natural (do nothing and get paid fantastically) order of things, and continue with business as usual, then I feel sorry for you.

If, like me, your country’s lawmakers are the likes of Dino Melaye,  who, despite being a lawmaker, can only claim to have sponsored one bill, the bill for social media regulation, and for the regulating of the stuff posted on sites on and around the internet, which, if it had gone through, would probably make it a treasonable offence for me to write this post now. Thankfully, the bill didn’t go far, and that makes me able to write this post this morning. We live in a wonderful country, where, if one is lucky to go to a private university, he or she can proceed to  go for national youth service the year he or she finishes university, (sans carry-overs or spilling), or the year after, due to a backlog of students awaiting service. But our Superstar Sinator, Dino Melaye, confirmed wife-beater and degree falsifier, has come out on record to be the only man who has beaten the system, going to serve a year before he graduated. Furthermore, what makes it special is the day he passed out. Traditionally, and historically, passing out parades are held on Thursdays, but our good Sinator, who still operates accounts in foreign banks in direct violation of the constitution as regards public office holders, and elected officials, did one better: he passed out on A SUNDAY. A Sunday! Blood of Shehu Shagari! People please join me and say “What a Waawu!”

So Senator Dino, whose Harvard and LSE (London School of Economics and political Science) degrees have since bounced like bad checks after Harvard confirmed that what he has was no degree but a certificate of attendance for a one-week programme he attended, and LSE said they have no record of him attending their institution…

Wait, is he Daniel or Dino?

His NYSC certificate says Daniel, his known name is Dino (though what exactly it is a short form of is a mystery to me), and even though his academic and educational qualifications are as shady as those of the President, he wore an ABU Zaria convocation gown to the hallowed chambers of the senate a few days back, in supposed confirmation of the fact that he did graduate from ABU.

Somebody say PETTY!

the one thing he claimed to be good at is buying expensive cars, as he has at least twenty six of them, ranging from a campaign trailer/ mobile home to a bunch of cars of the sort commonly flaunted by entertainers and showbiz personalities in music videos. Talking of which, reports making the rounds are that he, like the entertainer that he is, has released a video, in which he mocked Omoyele Sowore of Sahara Reporters, who recently shone the investigative journalism spotlight on Dino, sorry, Daniel, and his certificates. In the video, he allegedly mocked and threatened Sowore, telling him he was going to die, before launching into a dance routine that was supposedly symbolic of his victory, by which I mean the confirmation that he indeed did finish from ABU.

Victory dance, victory swag…

I’m guessing he didn’t attend his own convocation, and judging by the rumor I heard that he spent eight years to get a Bachelor of Arts degree in Geography, despite not having a pass in Geography in his SSCE, he must have left with a pass, or something worse. Biko, Dear Reader, if you see Dino Melaye, tell him I said…

Wehdone Sah!

 

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