When Next You Go to South Africa, Go With Your Sense.

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Dear Tatafo lovers,

Wonders will never end o! I keep telling you that this world is not my home but you people are not buying it. 

I was on my own, minding my business as usual when I saw something. It was a picture of a South African Pastor mixing rat poison for his members to drink. According to the CICA (Crime Intelligence and Community Awareness-South Africa, Pastor Light Monyeki from Grace Living Hope Ministries was “demonstrating the power of faith” by causing congregants to drink rat poison.

The Pastor held the plastic bottle aloft and then declared life from above upon the water mixed with the poison and spoke nourishment unto bodies and healing unto the sick.

I siri gini?

The gist has not finished dear brothers and sisters!

The Pastor partook in the “nourishment” and after confirming that nothing happened, a multitude of congregants voluntarily ran to the front of the church to have a drink of the deadly poison!

Chai! Diaris god o!

I am not understanding. What is wrong with Africa? Note that I didn’t say South Africa; I said Africa. What is wrong with this continent? What sort of charade have people turned religion into?

At first, when I saw the picture, I was like…he changed it to Nutri C jooh. Omo, when I saw the video, isi gbaka m!

What will you call the congregation of this man’s church now? Brainwashed members? Did Jesus who they claim to follow engage in this night of a thousand tricks? What sort of madness and health suicide is this?

These South African pastors really need to take several seats.  If members are not eating grass, it is using mosquito flit to pursue HIV. In Nigeria, at least we have hope. Our own pastors do not even pretend to be normal. If they are not cooking up ridiculous stories and giving Toyin Tomato a run for her acting career, they are asking you to bring money for all kinds of seeds: tomato seed, maize seed, think and grow rich seed, millet seed, fire the enemy seed. Let’s not even talk about the thousands of naira you have to pay for private and public deliverance, family liberation, village liberation, compound liberation, business liberation, maami wota liberation, spiritual wife and husband liberation etc. Those ones will tell you ho-ha that you have to p(r)ay your way out.

When will Africans be free from slavery? We are the most prayerful Christians. We go to church every Sunday and become the most religious with the highest number of kabashing prayer warriors you can ever imagine. The crusades and programs, nko? Happens every single day! Yet, we are the poorest continent with diseases like malaria and chicken pox still killing people.

What happened to: Though shall not test the Lord you God? What happened to be “still” and know that I am the Lord your God? What happened to the warning that in the last days, false prophets will arise and confuse you with tricks.

Nna eh, ike gwuru!

Religions in Africa don’t shock me anymore but once in a while, I shake my head and pray that people receive sense. If you are going to S.A anytime soon, please go with your sense to avoid stories that touch.

This religious epidemic is not only in S.A o! But on a serious note, if this man come Naija, him go make better money o! Oga Pastor, if you reading this, can you come to Nigeria? I want to confirm firsthand and to assure myself that it wasn’t Nutri C you mixed in the bottle. Some Nigerians may be gullible but some die hard skeptics like me want to see it ’live” before we believe. It’s not as if we don’t believe in Jesus o. We just want to see the ’miracle” live.

What is going to happen next? Drinking urine or sucking a Pastor’s manhood? Oh…I think a pastor already did that.

Uwa mmebi!

PS: The rat poison company should sue him, yes? Didn’t he just display their products as “powerless power”?

Assistant deputy Jesus, weh done, sah!

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